WASHINGTON, DC—In a time-honored annual ritual, thousands of high-school seniors across the nation are cramming for final exams, trying on their graduation gowns, and preparing to break up with their longtime sweethearts. “Amy is an amazing girl,” said Lancaster (OH) High School senior Jeff Reidel, who next week is planning to break up with Amy Pocoroba, his girlfriend of three and a half years. “I know we swore we’d be together forever, but, like me, she’s got a lot of exciting opportunities ahead of her, and it just wouldn’t be fair to her to keep her tied down.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/thousands-of-highschool-sweethearts-prepare-for-po,93/